Marriage Truths From Divorced.

 Learn the difference between being needed and being valued. Never marry someone who needs you. Marry someone who values you. Then, contribute more to the marriage than you expect to get back.

Allow yourself to admit faults, don't be always right. Remember, your spouse has got their own mind too, allow them to think and table motions. Don’t always shut them out since they too have faults but are not useless. Their faults can be solved without a fight but sitting down and listening to one's side of the story, uplift us by supporting one another, protecting us and don't look for faults in one. The person is your spouse, not your enemy.

Don’t keep score, but make sure you’re putting in the effort. Be on the same team. Make sure your spouse understands that this is the expectation the two of you should agree on. There will be days 50/50, other days not so much. You may have to carry your own weight as well as hers, and Vice versa.

Be mature enough first and leave all baggage at the door Meaning get healthy with yourself and love yourself first. Take your time, develop your relationship, focus on values alignment, be willing to say no and set boundaries, keep feelings in check and make decisions based on reason, maintain clear and open communication, learn to problem-solve and resolve conflict together, and did I mention the importance of assessing values alignment. Importantly, be willing to walk away and say goodbye before committing to marriage if it’s not right. Not everyone is a good match.

Make sure your values and morals align. Really look at the signs of how you handle stress, how she handles stress, how you all handle stress together. Make sure neither your past nor her past comes up in your present. Know when to let go. If she’s ready but you’re not, she will do things to make you ready and vice versa. So, know when to hold them and know when to fold them-Compromise...being honest and both always working on bettering yourself and strengthening your marriage. Never giving another person the ability to create conflicts between you.

Just remember, you have to love through thick and thin. When you're married there is no choice to look the other way or divorce when problems occur. Marriage should be treated as a sacred bond. I feel if you're going to get married to make sure that you can see yourself with this person, no matter what happens. Through thick and thin is an understatement when it comes to marriage, in my opinion. I see too many people getting married and treating the marriage as if it's a high school relationship, people getting divorced soon after.

Marriage should not be something you jump into without really giving it a thought. In a marriage there are no winners in a argument, learn to listen and compromise. Respect for each other is key.